All it did was anger me and solidify my belief that the church itself was shameful., July 2012 After 32 years I was excommunicated for disobeying the laws of the church but what that meant was I confessed to being gay.I was needing to catch my bus home, and politely said, "I'm sorry, but no. Took me another 16 years of study to finally have the integrity, honesty, courage to send in resignation.I'm excommunicated and I have no interest in a bogus faith, in fact, I'm atheist now." They then tried to leave until one of them came back up to me and had the audacity to ask "I'm just curious, but do you mind if I ask if you feel bad that the Holy Spirit had left you and you can't get into Heaven? " They then left, but not before I said, "you better tell the Salem Ward in Virginia Beach that they owe me at least ,000 for some dumb stuff they did! What a feeling of relief that washed over me after posting the letter. I was to live the best I could and not give a rip about what others were saying about me." I said, "What part of 'I don't want to talk to you' don't you morons understand? Two weeks later, that feeling over whelming joy washed over me again when I realized that for me, ALL religions were bogus. My life job was to love me and trust others to love themselves and figure out life one day at a time, making adjustments as needed.There was no bogey man in the sky waiting to chastise me. , 5-6-04/6-18-07 My bride (2nd) of 22 yrs & I excommunicated the Church within two weeks of each other.
As I'm grieving the death of the woman who was essentially my second mother (and who played a bigger role in raising me than my birth mother did), this obese asshole decided that this moment was the opportune time to call me out in front of the ward for being a less than stellar Mormon. I'm sure he was looking to shame me (and maybe hoped I'd return to the church), but instead it had the opposite effect.
Life is precious, we only get to experience this phase once, and we tend to waste too much of our lives living by someone else's rules or agenda.
When GBH wrote his book about "standing for something", I did, and cut them all off ecclesiastically speaking. But the straw that broke the camel's back and ensured I would never return was when the bishop "presiding" over my grandmother's funeral chastised me for being a bad Mormon.
Part of what pushed me over the edge was some of Eric Hoffer's books, starting with The True Believer and culminating with The Ordeal of Change.
When I saw what I was becoming, and what the 15 Apostates had become, I realized this was not the way of the Nazari that Jesus lived by.