It is a fertile soil for Horror films, and has been since the beginning – French innovator Georges Méliès is credited has having created the first film with horror elements, The Devil’s Castle in 1896 (Pre-dating his sci-fi masterpiece A Trip to the Moon by 6 years).
A lot has happened since then – sound, colour, practical effects, CGI, digital, HD, 4K and beyond – but Europe is still scary as ever and being out of reach of Hollywood taste-makers it can create its own unique brand of scares.
If you happen to move to one of these three, you can stop reading after this paragraph.
We should totally give you their number, so they can show the around.” Likely, a major part of your motivation for going abroad is to get away from elite Germans as far as possible, so you should answer in a non-committing way, like “oh, I will be very busy in my new job so I probably won’t have any free time in the next few…years”Sensing that they won’t gain much ground in their struggle to make you feel small by pointing out how mainstream your oh-so-special destination really is, they’ll quickly change their focus to the nature of your new occupation:“A new job? ”For old times sake, you could just engage in one last round of elite German combative communication, and say “Well, my job could be characterised as creative as well, it has to do with photography…”“Photography! I guess having a connection to Hartmut would be quite exciting for your little, what was it again, web design company? We just bring you two together so he can show you all the cool places in New York, you know!
”At which point you might just stop caring and start to fuck around with them: “Oh, did I say web design company? Actually, I meant to say I will be the new Director of Art Buying at Mo MA, with a side job as Terry Richardson’s new muse, in the case I ever get some time off my frequent mid-day outdoor threesomes with my two new girlfriends Zooey Deschanel and Chloë Sevigny, of course…”, which will make your elite German stare at you in disbelief and finally say in a notably less excited tone: “That’s so…great for you…”P. It is an unwritten, yet absolute certainty that if you ever run into Hartmut, Leni, Finn, or any other elite German person who was described to you as a hip expat god breaking new ground abroad, in the bleak light of day-to-day reality, things look a little less glorious.
Your emigration interrogation will always start with an encouraging “I heard you’ll be leaving us…that’s so greeeeat for you”, which is meant to make them appear well-meaning and , like psychologically trained detectives questioning a suspect in another lame episode of Tatort. Because they love little more than gossip, they probably already know the answer to their next question: “Where are you going? Answer by stating your destination in a calm and non-threatening way, like so: “I am going to New York”.
Now, let’s take a close look what this sentence triggers in an elite German person.